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GODDAMMIT-I-NEED-A-HAND-HERE

"GODDAMMIT, I NEED A HAND HERE!"

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PlotEdit

9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9Edit

The intro begins with DasBoSchitt successfully uploading GMIB8 to YouTube. #1 enters the room, getting his attention. Irritated, DasBoSchitt pushes away his chair, turns to #1 and raises his finger. The expression on his face changes when he sees #1, who is holding a sign. The poster for 9 is on this sign, and #1 repetitively says "nine". DasBoSchitt and #1 go to the movies to see 9, which #1 finds hilarious. Another day, when DasBoSchitt is watching TV, #1 asks him to go to the movies to see District 9 in the same manner as before. #1 also finds District 9 hilarious. This repeats for the films Nine, House of 9, The Nines, Session 9, Nine Queens, Cloud Nine (which makes him vomit) and finally $9.99. After an entire month of nines, DasBoSchitt attempts to work on Episode 9, but can only think about #1 saying 'nine' and laughing. Seemingly mad, DasBoSchitt bashes his head on the keyboard, somehow creating a full video before being knocked unconscious. #1 enters, sits down and plays the video. Pleased, he clicks upload.


The City 17 CarnivalEdit

Coach enters City 17 and sees a carnival in the square, complete with balloons, shooting galleries and strength tests. He also sees a 'you must be this tall' sign. To his left is a disgruntled Jockey who asks Coach for some help. Realising that everything costs money, and having only $30 available he refuses the Jockey. Unwilling to give up, the jockey rides Coach through the carnival, first buying a balloon for $1, then spending another $5 to toss a ball at some bottles, missing. $5 is spent at the shooting gallery, where the Jockey misses the bottles and hits Renamon with the air rifle, and $5 more is spent on the strength test, which the jockey launches Coach at, winning. Next, both Coach and the Jockey can be seen in a boat in a tunnel - the Tunnel of Love - which displeases Coach as another $5 is lost. The Jockey then takes Coach to the Splasher, but upon reaching the line discovers that Coach is a dollar short of the entry fee, $10. Having released Coach, the Jockey then took control of a freaked out and rich Rochelle. For some reason, while on the Splasher, Rochelle and the Jockey got hit by Francis on a bumper car.


Garbage DayEdit

In a parody of the Puppet Pals skit from Dexter's Laboratory, Two Team Fortress 2 character puppets: a RED Engineer on the left, posing as Puppet Pal Clam; and a RED Scout on the right, posing as Puppet Pal Mitch; approach each other. The Scout asks his Engineer friend to guess what day it is, who guesses it's 'Bonk! day'. However, the Engineer was rebuked by the RED Scout, who turns out to be a BLU Spy. The Spy corrects him by saying today is "Garbage Day" (obviously referencing the infamous line from Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2). The Engineer then says, "I don't get it-", only for the Spy to blow off his head with a revolver.


This is What I DoEdit

A Counter Strike character is leaning back in his chair watching tv. On the screen is a dancing Boomer. The song 'I Sit on You' by Tim and Eric starts playing and the Boomer drops from the ceiling, crushing both the man and his TV. The Boomer then sits in the middle of a Counter Strike battlefield amidst dead bodies, before sitting on Santa's lap. He then starts bouncing in front of a RED Sniper, blocking his shot, sitting on Zoey, sitting on a Charger and then sitting on top of Dr Hax's head. The Boomer finally bounced into a hole on a TF2 map, exploding and killing the entire RED Team. The Boomer is launched out of the hole after the dust settles to continue his bouncing spree.


Just a Gutless FatsoEdit

A girl (as Laura from Silent Hill 2) is sitting on a table next to Eddie (see Episode 6), who is eating a burger. She asks him if he commited robbery or murder. He states that he did nothing like that, still eating his burger, to which she responds by calling him a gutless fatso. Enraged, he points at her and she is flung through the wall into the street. James wants to go after her, but still mad, Eddie refuses. James then says that this town is full of monsters and asks how Eddie can just sit there. Before he can continue, Eddie turns his head and has the sad face (seen in Episodes 3 and 6) attached to his head. This expression on Eddie's face is enough to silence his friend.


Gordon!Edit

Alyx Vance is shown repetitively respawning in the same spot where she is killed by a submachine gun.


GonorrheaEdit

"Oh shit...GO-NOR-RHEA!"
—Coach, moments before something bad happens.

Coach approaches a wall and drops his fly to urinate. He comes to the sudden realisation he has Gonorrhea, and instead of peeing emits a large burst of flame. A section of wall in front of Coach is destroyed, revealing Nick at a computer, now a charred corpse. Angry, Nick warns Coach not to do that again, lest he be buried alive. Coach cannot hold it in and an explosion of fire destroys the entire building. Nick buries Coach alive, with Coach giving the finger afterwards.

SweeperEdit

In a scene from Half Life 2 at Black Mesa East, Alyx gets the Gravity Gun for Gordon, who is scratching his rear end. Upon revealing that the Gravity Gun is handy for clearing minefields, a green army man is identified as a newcomer named Sarge. Sarge announces that he needs a sweeper before plucking the Gun from Alyx's hands. He goes out back to a minefield and tosses the Gravity Gun, shouting 'sweep!' Realising it had no effect, Sarge once again states that he needs a sweeper before running into the field and being blown up.


"I'm enjoying a treat Derrick!"Edit

Parodying one of BalloonShop's videos, one Metrocop (Alex) is sitting on a chair, looking happy with a package in his hand. A second cop appears, Derrick, which angers Alex. Derrick falls over next to Alex before saying "I look like a hush Puppy". Alex is irritated further as Derrick tells him that he likes to pretend to be a Hush Puppy, and even say "hey!' a lot. Alex shouts out that he is enjoying a treat, to which Derrick responds by asking him to share and accidentally knocking the treat into the water. Enraged and shouting "DERRICK!", Alex explodes, destroying Japan somehow, making a large crater and turning Derrick into a charred corpse. A Resistance fighter enters the crater, wondering what they were doing, and being shot by Alex's head. Then, Agustus Cole from Gears of War appears stating that "everybody wants to see the Train, baby" before Alex shoots a baby at him. Derrick's corpse speaks, once again angering Alex before the credits start rolling.


Post-CreditsEdit

The closing scene comes from The Apprentice, where Sharon Osborne is fired. After receiving the news, her voice is replaced with a deep male voice saying "FUCK."

TriviaEdit

  • Everybody Hates Rochelle:
    1. Rochelle was crashed by Francis' sled while being mangled by a Jockey.
    2. In the Gonorrhea segment, She was killed by a Monitor when Coach is bursting flames (but only gets off from her head after Coach explodes his biggest gonorrhea.).

Continuity NotesEdit

  • In the "I'm enjoying a treat Derrick!" Segment, the man who tries to break his cuffs (as seen in the first Episode) is still not giving up.

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