Barney's Mind

Barney's Mind
Genre	Comedy
Created by	Ian Riley
Produced by	Ian Riley
Directed by	Ian Riley
Production Studio	Pirate Films
Starring	Ian Riley as Barney Calhoun Robin Darnell as Adrian Shephard Curtis Trudeau-Brown as Walter "Douchebag" Bennett Daniel Dawson as Fighter pilot Simon James as ATC Guy
Games used	Half Life: Blue Shift Half-Life Half-Life 2: Episode 1 Counter-Strike: Source Microsoft Flight Simulator X
Broadcast
Running time	5-10 Minutes per episode
Number of episodes	15
Release date	Main run: April 6, 2009 – December 24, 2009 Special Editions: March 28, 2010
External links
YouTube	Official website

Barney's Mind is a machinima series created by Ian Riley (aka IRAMightyPirate). Inspired by Freeman's Mind, it is an in-character walkthrough of Half-Life: Blue Shift, where Barney Calhoun makes comedic comments on his surroundings, his enemies, and his constant combat feats. It has the same mechanics as Freeman's Mind. As of the moment it is the first mind series that has been fully completed - before Shephard's Mind, with 15 episodes as well as "Special Editions" of Episodes 1-2 which are remakes as IRAMightyPirate wanted the episodes to be much better then the originals. A third episode was planned, however never came to fruition, and IRAMightyPirate hasn't released anything Mind related since 2012.

Characters

Barney Calhoun, the main protagonist

• Barney Calhoun: Barney shares many traits with Freeman: he is sarcastic, egotistical, and somewhat violent. He has a similar personality over all, and constantly makes comments on Black Mesa's absurd architecture, the military's stupidity, and how frustrating the aliens are. He has a friendship with Freeman (as the normal Barney does in Half Life canon), which he mentions several times throughout the series. A running gag throughout the series is that he is constantly stating what he hates. These things include ladders, stairs, Dr. Pepper, MySpace, Twitter, bees, his job, Black Mesa, elevator music, and many other things, similar to the character Francis from the video game Left 4 Dead. Barney is also an avid gamer, saying he plays games such as World of Warcraft, Super Smash Bros., and Counter-Strike. Although at first not going into greater detail, Barney mentions that he took flying lessons at some point in the past, possibly based off of Riley's own flying hobby. This would come into play at the end of series, as he flies a Bombardier jet out of Black Mesa, and skillfully outmanoeuvres a military fighter jet. In Episode 5, it is revealed he is a college dropout, though he made some friends from Bulgaria who he later calls upon to stay with after he and the other scientists flee Black Mesa. He was voiced by Ian Riley
• Adrian Shephard: The Main Character from Shephard's Mind, Barney meets him after teleporting back into Black Mesa when he is stuck in a harmonic reflux. He attempts to free the trapped marine from Gordon's locker, but to no success. After chatting for a bit, Barney leaves him to go and find some keys to unlock the locker, but is randomly teleported for the last time back to Dr. Rosenberg and the others. Barney says that he hopes Shephard escaped safely as he flies away from Black Mesa. He was voiced by Robin Darnell
• Walter Bennett: Voiced by Curtis Trudeau-Brown (also known as Corky064) in Episode 15. Nicknamed "Douchebag" by Barney. Walter is rescued from a boxcar in Episode 9 by Barney, and follows him while he fights the M1A1 tank. After the battle, Barney tasks Walter with carrying some of his guns for him, but he is quickly shown incapable after accidentally discharging the pistol and nearly hitting Barney, and is told to hold a can of soda instead. Walter gets seperated from Barney in Episode 10 - Part 1, but somehow manages to find his way to the Lambda Complex. Walter is teleported to safety in Episode 15 - Part 1. After Barney jumps into the teleporter, Walter is seen opening the front gate with a crowbar. Barney is caught in a harmonic reflux and yells at Walter to help him before he is teleported away. When Barney is teleported back outside, and has stabilized, he escapes in an SUV with the scientists after a brief argument with Walter about who gets to ride in the front seat. Barney relents, opting to take a nap in the back seat. Minutes later, Barney is awoken by Walter who informs him they are approaching a military checkpoint. Barney insists they go to Black Mesa's airport and hijack an air plane to escape, while assuring the scientists he knows how to fly an aircraft. After locating a suitable plane, Walter reads the take-off manual to Barney, though neglecting to tell Barney to release the parking brake until the end. Shortly after liftoff, the group receives a transmission from the military Air Traffic Control informing them they will be escorted by a fighter jet for violating military airspace. Barney convinces Walter that co-operating with the military is not an option, and tells him to "Find something useful to do". Walter manages to plug the Jet's sound system into the intercom, and after skipping through various songs, plays one to Barney's liking. After coming under fire from the fighter jet, Barney tells Walter to look out the window to see if he can find it. The fighter jet fires on the air plane again, causing Walter to pass out from fear. After Barney evades the fighter, he and the others make their way to a nearby airport where they can find a way to Barney's friends in Bulgaria.
• EV-91: The fighter pilot that was tasked with escorting Barney to the Kirtland Air Force Base after he violates military airspace. He then engages the unarmed business jet when Barney attempts to run. Barney manages to evade fire from the fighter jet until it suddenly gets hit by a portal storm and teleported somewhere off of the Atlantic coast. He was voiced by Daniel Dawson.
• Air Force Wing ATC: The military air traffic control. He authorizes EV-91 to use lethal force at his own discretion to stop Barney from escaping. He was voiced by Simon James.
• Alyx Vance: She makes an appearance in Barney's Mind Episode 15 when Barney was briefly teleported 20 years into the future. She was an infant at the time of Barney's Mind.
• Gordon Freeman: He is Barney's (apparent) best friend. Gordon appears in the first episode saying SUCKERRRRRRR! at Barney, then saying "Sup, Fool.". He is mentioned a lot by Barney. He appears at the end being dragged to a trash compactor by 2 HECU soldiers, with Barney watching from a storage room. He was voiced by Ross Scott, the creator of Freeman's Mind which many Mind series take inspiration from.

Episodes

Episode 1

Barney receives his gun from the armory.

The series begins with Barney inside the Black Mesa tram. He is almost an hour late after hearing the time (8:42 AM). The tram passes through underground caverns, a drawbridge catwalk, and the security checkpoint at Area 9. His tram is lowered into a railway which links to the railway seen at the beginning of Half-Life (where Gordon begins his tram ride). The tram stops at the place where Barney (in Half-Life) is seen locked out. Gordon Freeman passes by in another tram (while yelling, SUUUCCKKEEERRR! at Barney), and the door finally gets opened. Accepting the fact that he is late, Barney decides to stop by a nearby vending machine to purchase a snack, only to find it is sold out of Doritoes. Barney decides to get a Coke from the soda machine after deciding not to get Sun Chips as an alternative.

Barney arrives late, but the security guard at the desk is understanding, saying that there have been "Problems all over the facility". Barney enters the locker room, and after inspecting a picture of his girlfriend Lauren, he puts on his vest and helmet, then heads back.

The security officer at the desk informs Barney that there are some scientists that are having problems with an elevator in Sector G, and tells him to lend a hand. Barney questions why he would be assigned such a duty, insisting that he "Is not maintenance".

Barney then takes an elevator and heads to the firing range to pick up his gun. After some target practice, he tries to remember what he must do to assist the scientists. Jokingly suggesting that they need his help installing a handrail.

Episode 1: Special Edition

For the most part, the plot is the same with a few differences:

1. A live action introduction by Ian, informing everyone that he has returned.

2. An updated logo.

3. A scene in which Barney ventures into the surveillance room and comments on the various camera feeds.

Episode 2

Barney is informed the tram is nonfunctional.

Barney leaves the shooting range, and heads to the elevator. After making his way back, he asks another security guard if he wants to hear a joke. The guard declines, saying that he is on duty. Barney becomes frustrated and insists that he is fact doing nothing at all. Barney continues on his way to Sector G while passing a scientist who lost the glasses that are on his head, a boring turbine, and some scientists and a guard trying to fix a supercomputer which explodes.

After arriving at the platform where the tram should arrive to take him to Sector G, a nearby scientist sitting on a bench tells him that "All the trams on this end of the facility are having problems".

Barney decides to take the maintenance access. He goes through several dark hallways, and spots the G-Man going by on a tram. After he arrives at the Sector G tram platform, and tossing his empty Coke can down a bottomless pit, he is greeted by the agitated scientists waiting in the elevator, insisting that he fix the elevator so they can "Get on with this miserable day".

After a quick inspection and a simple press of a button, the elevator begins to descend as Barney remarks on their incompetence. As Barney continues to verbally assault the scientists, the elevator begins to rumble, then stops. One of the scientists says that the Anomalous Materials Team is responsible for the power drain, saying they're "Always pushing their equipment too hard."

After a few moments, power is restored and the elevator continues descending. All of a sudden, the elevator starts to rumble more violently, and Barney starts to get worried. He hears a loud creaking from above as the scientists vocalize their discomfort for the situation. After a loud alarm is heard, power in the elevator starts to surge as the Resonance Cascade begins. One of the scientists is killed by an exploding panel as Barney witnesses explosions and aliens teleporting in the lower levels of the facility.

Suddenly, the elevator cable snaps sending Barney plunging to the bottom.

Episode 2: Special Edition

Most of the story are similar to the original episode, but with one difference:

1. The end of the episode features a list of people that posted a "Tamale" comment.

Episode 3

Barney first encounters the aliens.

Barney wakes up and discovers the two scientists are dead. As he stumbles out of the destroyed elevator, Barney grabs a nearby crowbar and examines the body of another security guard. After a quick scan of his environment, he is surprised by two houndeyes and immediately opens fire on them. He kills one, but the other runs away. After some thought, Barney wonders if the aliens are in fact, friendly, and attempts to approach the other one. He kills the alien after it attacks him.

Barney attempts to head into the lower levels, but is blocked by a security door. After destroying the power box, the door unlocks, and he proceeds forward.

Upon entering the next room, Barney is ambushed by two headcrabs. He waits around a corner and shoots one as it walks by, but discovers the other other one suddenly dead. After a quick and unsavoury examination of the dead headcrab, Barney attempts to cross the room, but is burned by the acid that is covering most of the floor, and discovers that is what killed the second headcrab. He manages to cross the room by jumping onto a table in the middle, and then to the other side. He is ambushed by two more headcrabs, but disposes of them quickly before climbing up a ladder in a storage closet.

Barney climbs to the top, and finds a worried scientist hiding on top of the air vents. The scientist tells him that the only way out is through the canals, and if he makes it through, not to tell anyone where he is hiding, for fear that "they" will "kill us all".

Barney uses his vantage point over the acid flooded room below to shoot some explosive barrels on the other side of a fence that was blocking the exit. The explosion destroys the fence, and Barney hastily leaves, believing that the scientist will soon be "Neck deep in acid".

Barney continues through the hallway, and rides across a bottomless chasm on a lift he deems "rickity". Upon reaching the other side, two more houndeyes attack him, but he manages to kill them quickly. He dismounts the lift, and looks to find a switch that will open the door for either the North or South tunnel entrance. Since the North tunnel switch was destroyed, Barney opens the South tunnel. Upon exiting, two Vortigaunts teleport from nowhere and attack him. After being shocked by their lightning attack, he defeats the aliens, and continues through the South tunnel.

He travels through the short tunnel, and after killing another houndeye, decides to take a bathroom break as he is unwilling to crawl underneath a heavy door held up by a box which he considers unstable.

Episode 4

Barney operates the crane

After relieving his bladder, Barney contemplates the safest way of proceeding under the heavy tunnel door. Finally, he decides to simply run and slide under. Barney continues, glad that he was not crushed by the door, ironically, he immediately collects supplies from a fallen security guard who suffered a similar fate.

Unable to proceed forward, Barney spots a high up ladder hanging over an bottomless chasm that leads to another path, and uses the nearby crane controls to position two lifts so he can jump to the ladder. After some difficulty, he manages to climb the ladder and continue his journey to the surface, but not before he is attacked by more aliens teleporting in.

Barney climbs down a maintenance entrance, and after proclaiming his hate for ladders and MySpace, he finds himself on the catwalks above the drainage canals. He explores the catwalks, attempting to find a way to proceed, but comes across two paths that are blocked by walls of hot steam. While trying to find a way around, he turns two nearby valves which stops the steam blocking both of the paths.

After nearly falling off a ladder and hurting his wrist, Barney heads down a hallway which leads to a dead end, though he sees a dead scientist with a shotgun next to him. Barney takes the shotgun, and notices he is at the bottom of the drainage canal exit, but the ladder is too high off the ground to jump to. Barney goes back to try to find a way around, and heads back up the ladder and tries the second path unblocked by the steam.

While walking down the hallway and expressing his surprise that the deceased research personnel was so heavily armed, Barney comes to another dead end. He receives first aid from a nearby station, and sarcastically comments on the HEV suit charger next to it. He activates the controls for an elevator he can see through the window, then quickly heads back after seeing aliens coming down on it.

He continues backtracking to a ladder he came to earlier, but did not use due to it being blocked off by handrails, and did not want to climb onto and risk falling into the sewage below. As he approaches the ladder, Barney begins to realize that he is getting hungry, and is craving pizza.

Episode 5

Barney witnesses the HECU dumping bodies into the canal

After climbing up the ladder and walking across a girder that he deems as useless for not holding up anything, Barney comes to another canal that he cannot cross. He spots a barnacle attached to the ceiling and wonders if he could use the tongue to swing to the other side. He is caught by the tongue and is nearly killed before he manages to free himself. He falls into the canal, and after some initial disgust, Barney turns a valve that controls the canal flow. The water rises, and he is able to climb onto the ledge on the other side and continues on his way.

Shortly after checking another fallen comrade for a pulse or a wallet, he is ambushed by two vortigaunts teleporting in. He quickly dispatches them and crosses the broken catwalk by jumping to a parallel pipe nearby. he walks across the pipe and tries to jump back up to the catwalk above, but does not jump high enough, and falls to the floor below. He continues walking down the new path, and comes to more catwalks. He sees another security guard being attacked by zombies, who then falls over the railing. Barney expresses his grief over the possibility that the guard could have owed him money.

After working his way around, Barney crosses the catwalk and enters a room that contains excess water from canal flooding, which at first he mistakes the sign for reading "anal flooding". He is suddenly attacked by a bullsquid which catches him by surprise. He kills the new alien and walks through the labyrinth of tunnels. After turning on a power box, he takes an elevator and heads upward.

After walking down the path, Barney comes to the elevator he lowed earlier, and remembering that aliens came down on it, surprised them with his shotgun. After disposing of the vortigaunts, he notices a sign that reads "Keep explosive materials out of the canal". Barney, finding it hilarious that Black Mesa felt it necessary to put up a warning for a situation so absurd, decides to push the nearby crate of explosives into the canal below, for his amusement, not caring if the resulting explosion were to cause the room to collapse.

The crate drifts down the canal, and destroys something unseen. Barney takes a nearby lift down to the canal, but accidentally falls in. Luckily, it is revealed the crate destroyed one of two giant turbines which otherwise would have crushed him. The powerful current sends him to the end of the canal. He climbs up a ladder and finds himself just under ground level after looking up and seeing and listening in two HECU marines talking to each other. The marines complain about their duty of disposing of the bodies of Black Mesa employees, and wonder why they are being assigned such work "just because Shephard's team didn't make it". Barney is then surprised when they toss one more body into the canal, saying that he knew him, and that he also owed him money. A frustrated Barney assures himself he will not buy pizza for anyone at Black Mesa anymore.

Episode 6

Barney, oblivious to the dead scientist, comments on the lack of head space in the SUV

After deciding that he must "take his debt-collection and pizza-getting elsewhere", he presses forward while daydreaming about having pizza and Coke (or beer) for lunch. Barney reaches the end of path and comes to a ladder over a grate. Barney looks down, and realizes that the room below is the same dead end where he saw the dead scientist with the shotgun. He expresses his frustration that Black Mesa would deliberately place the ladder at the bottom too high for anyone to reach, and placing an immovable steel grate over top, effectively making it useless.

He climbs to top of the ladder. His frustrated rant is cut short after hearing gunshots. Immediately after climbing to the surface, he is fired upon military forces. Barney takes cover behind a sign, and makes a break for a nearby tunnel. He walks down the tunnel and comes across an SUV stopped in the middle of the tunnel. He approaches, hoping to escape with owner, but finds him dead. He takes the dead guard's .357 Magnum, and comments on the poor design of the vehicle, particularly the small amount of space, before noticing a dead scientist sitting in the passenger seat. Barney decides to investigate a nearby locked door. He contemplates how to destroy the padlock, bypassing the option of shooting it, due to the theory being disproven by Mythbusters. He attempts to move an explosive barrel next to the lock, but the barrel is too heavy for him to move. Finally, he tries using the crowbar, with success. Barney expresses his displeasure when he sees that the door simply lead to a steam access tunnel. Not wanting to back underground, he heads further down the tunnel, only to be shot at by marines waiting at the end. The tunnel door closes, locking Barney in. He attempts to open the door by shooting the panel, but to no success. With nowhere else to go, he heads down the steam tunnel access. As he climbs down, the ladder breaks, sending him falling to the bottom.

Barney wakes up quickly, and is attacked by headcrabs. He kills them and starts heading through the tunnels, determined to step on as many cockroaches as he can. He comes to a flooded room, and is nearly killed when a loose electric wire threatens to make contact with the water. He crosses the room, and is attacked by a bullsquid. After killing the alien, he comes to a dead end. Barney decides to shoot some nearby explosive barrels to open a locked toolbox that he mistakes for a lunch box. The explosion destroys the toolbox and part of the wall. He then notices an elevator next to him. Barney activates the elevator which takes him upward, hoping that it will take him to the cafeteria so he can get some sandwiches.

Episode 7

Barney collects an M4A1 Assualt Rifle from the defeated marines before finding Harold

The elevator reaches the top, and after dispatching of some headcrabs and stepping on more cockroaches, Barney makes his way through the hallways. Barney gets distracted by squishing cockroaches, and falls into a trap after being lured by a headcrab. He escapes the ambush and continues through the hallways.

Barney is attacked by more headcrabs and briefly loses his sanity, going on a rampage and hitting everything he sees with his crowbar, but comes back when he destroys some boxes revealing a first aid station. His insanity quickly turns to anger, and questions why Black Mesa would hide important medical supplies behind a large crate. He then wonders if the first aid station will treat the toxic chemicals he's been exposed to.

After running past arcing electricity, he heads down a dark hallway, killing another vortigaunt. His path is blocked by a wall of electronics and is forced to go above it through the ventilation system. Barney crawls through the air vents, killing many headcrabs along the way. He emerges on the other side, and to his dismay, spots his friend Greg lying dead in a pool of blood. Barney shakes off the grief, with the parting words that "[He'll] buy [him] that beer later".

As he heads on his way, Barney hears more gunshots from around the corner. Barney sees two marines. Determined to get his revenge for them shooting at him, he slowly sneaks closer and executes one with a head shot from his Magnum, and quickly kills the other one. As he walks to where they were standing, he adds the M4A1 Assault Rifle they were using to his arsenal. After stocking up on nearby shotgun shells, he investigates what they were shooting at. He enters the office into which they were shooting into, and is surprised by what he finds.

Episode 8

Barney is perplexed by a sign

Barney enters the office and discovers a mortally wounded scientist. The scientist tells Barney that he and his comrades had been working on a way to escape, but were ambushed by the soldiers. With his last breath, he tells Barney to find Dr. Rosenberg. As the scientist dies right next to a health kit, Barney shows sympathy over his death. He takes some supplies from a locker and gives his last respects to the scientist (who he mistakes for Dr. Reardon) before heading out to find Dr. Rosenberg.

After killing another HECU marine, he continues down a seemingly under-construction part of the hallway. He reaches the end, and comes to stairwell. After seeing that there is storage happening despite a sign nearby that prohibits it, he heads up the stairs and goes through a door labeled "Storage room", and becomes even more confused when he sees the same sign inside.

He attempts to leave via the exit, but sees more marines as he steps outside. He retreats back into the building, and engages the HECU in a lengthy firefight. Barney emerges as the victor, and climbs through a high up window to continue into the facility.

He comes across an ammo cache and stocks up. He attempts to continue through a nearby door, but is ambushed by the HECU. After taking a moment to compose himself, he turns on his iPod and opens fire on the squad. Once again, Barney defeats the military force.

In the aftermath of the battle, he collects some cans of soda lying on ground. He then opens one of the doors of the two boxcars the marines were guarding. The first one simply contains vortigaunts which Barney quickly neutralizes. Before he opens the second one, he scans a nearby room. The room is filled with bodies of the executed science team, which makes Barney quickly exit. The second boxcar contains a two scientists, One dead and one alive. The scientists says he is not Dr. Rosenberg. Barney asks him if he has any form of communication device on him.

Episode 9

Barney frees Walter Bennet

Barney tells the scientist to stay close by him in case they get caught in a combat zone. As they head to the door to leave, more HECU marines enter and open fire on the two. Barney eliminates them, and he and the scientist continue to the freight yards.

Barney, suspecting more soldiers in the freight yard, tells the scientist to wait while he takes a look ahead. Sure enough, a squad of marines is guarding some freight cars. Barney charges in, guns blazing, and neutralizes the squad one by one while asking in a mocking manner if they play any video games such as World of Warcraft, Super Smash Bros., and Counter-Strike.

After the fighting subsides, Barney opens the door to one of the box cars and finds another scientist. The scientist tells him that he is not Dr. Rosenberg. Barney reluctantly agrees to help him escape, too. As they prepare to leave, the large door at the other end of the freight yard opens, and Barney mans a .50 calibre turret as HECU soldier initiate the counter-attack. The force is mowed down by the heavy machine gun. As Barney leaves the turret, he begins to feel fatigued from blood loss. He attempts to continue forward, but decides to sit down against a wall and rest briefly before passing out.

Barney wonders if he has died, while having a flashback dream of the day of his training. He remarks on the absurd and harsh tasks he had to complete for the training course before waking up.

He wakes up, thanking the scientist for bandaging a wound on his leg, and goes back to collect the other scientist. The three then proceed through the railroad tunnel.

Once again suspecting danger, he tells the scientists to wait while he check the area ahead. His suspicions are confirmed when he sees more soldiers and an M1A1 battle tank. Barney eliminates the soldiers from afar and ponders how he can destroy the tank. He quickly manages to snag an RPG launcher from the back of a truck before it is blown up by the tank. He once again turns on his iPod and engages the tank with the rocket launcher. He swiftly dodges fire from it while landing several hits, then finally destroying the armoured vehicle. The RPG proves to be too heavy for Barney to continue using, so he sets it down and returns to the scientists.

Barney tries to tell them the way is clear, but the scientists show their anxiousness to continue. Barney manages to coax one to continue with him while the other stays behind. Barney continues through the freight yards while struggling to find the correct name for the scientist. Giving up, he simply decides to call the scientist "Douchebag" and tells him to help carry his arsenal of weapons for him.

Episode 10

Barney takes a drink of water after accidentally ingesting blood

Barney hands the newly nicknamed Douchebag several of his weapons, but quickly takes them back after he accidentally discharges the pistol and nearly hits Barney. After tasking Douchebag to carry a can of soda instead, he steps into the next tunnel and is immediately fired upon by an auto turret. He destroys the turret with a quick shot from his under mounted grenade launcher, and becomes frustrated when he fails to impress Douchebag with his impressive maneuvers.

While proceeding through the tunnel, Barney mentions that he took flying lessons as a hobby, but quickly abandons the line of thought after seeing the exit being blocked by a steel door. He climbs up onto the freight car in front of the door, and shoots the caps off of four CO2 canisters. The canisters blow a hole through the door which Barney climbs through. Right away, he enters the next freight yard and is engaged by more HECU soldiers. After a brief firefight, Barney operates the turntable controls and opens the door to a nearby tunnel housing a boxcar.

He hears a scientist calling from inside and brings the boxcar out and into the freight yard. He opens the door and enters the boxcar to talk to the scientist, but more HECU marines close the door behind him and lock him in. The scientist tells Barney that he is Dr. Rosenberg. He explains that he and a small team had been working on teleportation project for years and had planned on using the prototype labs housing teleportation technology, but were captured by the HECU. He tells Barney that if he can get him to the labs, they can use the technology to escape. Barney climbs through the vent in the ceiling of the boxcar with the help of the doctor, and ambushes the soldiers outside. After all the soldiers have been killed, Barney and Dr. Rosenberg make their way to the hallway nearby where Harold was found that is still under construction.

Barney and Rosenberg cut through the Shipping/Receiving offices and encounter more resistance, but Barney pushes through. After passing through the freight records and mistaking a window for the one he destroyed earlier by the Yard Manager's office, he escorts Rosenberg to the Section A-17 Prototype Lab elevator. Rosenberg remarks that the HECU are desperately hunting down a man named "Freeman", while Barney remembers that he still owes him a beer. As the elevator descends, Barney asks Rosenberg if he has the feeling he's forgotten someone.

Episode 11

Barney in the border world Xen

As Barney cowers in the corner while expressing his hatred for elevators, the lift comes to a halt. The two exit as Barney remembers that he left Douchebag by himself on the surface. Dr. Rosenberg opens the door to the prototype labs, and Barney is shocked to see Douchebag already there. After a brief conversation with Douchebag, Dr. Rosenberg leads Barney to the part of the lab that contains the teleporter. He explains to Barney that in order for the teleporter to transport them to a location on Earth, someone must go to the border world of Xen and realign the focus emitters for use as a focal point for the teleporter. He insists that Barney is the only one capable of the task and opens the teleporter. After a warning that the probability of encounter aliens in the border world is very high, Barney jumps through the portal, and is engulfed in green.

Barney lands on Xen and immediately begins shooting at incoming houndeyes. After the aliens are dispatched, Barney makes a panicked observation of his surroundings, remarking on it's ominous look and sticky texture. After a bad encounter with the alien plant-life, he discovers that the gravity is lower, and uses it to climb up to a nearby cave. To his disdain, he sees that the only way he can proceed is through a small tunnel that closely resembles the air vents a Black Mesa. As he crawls through the tunnel, he wonders if they possibly made by bees. He expresses his hatred for them and becomes paranoid if there are bees at the end of the tunnel. He exits, and instead finds a glowing crystal sticking from the ground. He wonders if it is radioactivity that makes the crystals glow, and jokingly shrugs it off saying that "a little leukemia never hurt anyone".

Episode 12

Barney recovers from being thrown by the "alien trampoline"

After deciding that radioactive crystals are the least of his worries, Barney continues through the alien catacombs and comes across a dead HEV suit-wearing scientist. He discovers several rifle grenades in the weapon box next to the scientist, and continues through the tunnels while questioning what the scientist would need grenade rounds for.

After killing several aliens and passing a small pond of alien water, he reaches the end of the tunnel. As Barney exits the cavern, he comes to an abyss and deduces that the only way to get across is to jump from one small floating island to the next. After a close call and an encounter with aliens, Barney crosses the abyss and proceeds through a short cave. He emerges on the other side and jumps to an island floating in the centre of another abyss. Suddenly, and alien aircraft begins destroying the island, though it flies away before destroying it completely. Barney notices that an explosion caused a large tree to fall down, bridging the gap to the other side. He crosses the make-shift bridge, and to his dismay, realizes that in order to proceed, he must swim through the grotesque-smelling alien water. He works up the courage to do so, and swims through the underwater cavern. He come to a waterfall, and after hoping that the water below is deep enough to break his fall, he jumps. He climbs out of the water onto a nearby island, and scans the environment to see where he must go next. Next to him, he sees something he labels as an "alien trampoline" after it throws him high into the air. He then contemplates the possibility of using it to jump to the top of another nearby waterfall. He does so and considers jumping down and doing it again, but quickly decides not to.

Episode 13

Barney aligns the focus emitter

Barney makes his way through the cavern. He goes down some light rapids, and is bruised on the way down. He climbs onto a nearby ledge and follows the river. He uses another alien trampoline to jump to another high-up ledge. After travelling through a short tunnel and complaining about gymnastics and figure skating being in the Olympics, Barney emerges from the other side at the site where the focus emitter is located.

He examines the machinery and turns it on. He aligns the focus emitters, and is suddenly ambushed by more aliens teleporting in. He takes shelter from the bees being shot him in a nearby cave. Part of the ceiling of the cave collapses from a vortigaunt teleporting in, and he proceeds to climb up the rubble. He makes his way through the cave, and is caught in another ambush. After dispatching of the aliens and questioning if he is actually in a TV series, he finds himself back in the area where he arrived at. He rushes to the newly created portal while dodging bees, and escapes from Xen.

When he returns back to the lab, Dr. Rosenberg tells Barney that he was successful in creating a focal point for the teleporter, but the power cell had been completely drained for his trip to the border world and back. Dr. Rosenberg tasks Barney with heading to the lower levels and retrieving a fresh power cell for their escape. Barney begrudgingly steps into the elevator and begins his decent.

Episode 14

Barney realizes he must find a way to cross the coolant

The elevator comes to a halt at the lower levels, and Barney immediately kills a Bullsquid upon entering. He observes his surroundings, and after failing to open a door with a broken control panel, takes a short lift upwards. After head a short way, he overhears a panicking scientist and a security guards fighting off Vortigaunts in the charging room. Barney, who is behind a fence and cannot assist, yells at them to open a nearby door and let him in. The scientist runs off and the security guard is caught by surprise and incapacitated by another Vortigaunt.

Frustrated, Barney heads back the way he came. He hears banging on the other side of the broken door, and suddenly sees a flame begin to cut through it. He deduces that it is a platoon of soldier that are breaching the door as he hides around a corner and prepares to ambush them. He eliminates the soldiers with a well placed rifle grenade, but destroys the cutting torch in the process, denying him access to any locked doors he may encounter in the future. He proceeds through the new path, and collects several satchel charges on the way. He fights his way through more HECU, and comes to a bridge next to a waterfall of coolant. Confused by the sight, he crosses the bridge and continues fighting the marines.

Barney pushes forward and comes to a heavy blast door with C4 charges attached to it, but the wires to the detonator have been severed. He heads down another path to the generator room. After killing a group of Houndeyes, he surprised to see a large pool of coolant blocking his path to the other side of a broken bridge. He questions why Black Mesa would require such vast amounts of coolant, but then comes to the conclusion that it is required for the two large generators he sees. He heads back and uses a metal barrel to bridge the cut wires to the detonator hooked up to the large metal door. He activates the detonator and blows a hole in the door large enough for him to walk through. He heads through the door, and after a frustrating encounter with some Headcrabs, Barney climbs up to the coolant pump. He uses the pump to drain the coolant from the generator room, and after killing a Bullsquid, goes down an elevator to the bottom of the drained coolant pool.

Carl informs Barney how to charge the power cell shortly before dying

Barney goes down a corridor which leads him into the drained pool. He discovers several empty barrels coolant. Realizing that the barrels float, he gathers them and arranges them into a straight line so they can form make-shift steps for when the pool is filled with coolant again. Barney activates the pump again and refills the pool, and after being ambushed by bees, he successfully jumps across the barrels to the other side of the bridge. He heads down a corridor while disposing of more aliens and soldiers. He proceeds and kills more Headcrabs and avoids pipelines of flaming natural gas until he comes to the control room for the generators. He activates the generators and goes back the way he came.

Barney backtracks to the level 2 access lift and presses a button which brings the previously powerless bridge where he first saw the waterfall of coolant, up to the second level. He crosses the bridge and notices the corpse of the panicked scientist he saw earlier. Going farther, he dispatches two Vortigaunts and narrowly dodges gunfire from an auto-turret. Finally Barney comes to the charging station and power cell delivery lift. He sees Carl, the security guard fighting the Vortigaunts earlier, mortally wounded and sitting against the gate to the charging station. Carl instructs Barney to use the charging station behind him to charge the battery and get it back to Dr. Rosenberg. With his last breath, Carl gets up to move out of the way, but collapses and dies from his wounds. Barney halfheartedly and angrily mourns his death before pushing the power cell into the charger. He then brings the charged battery to the delivery lift which accepts his payload. With his task completed, Barney eagerly prepares to return to the upper levels and "Get the fuck out of here".

Episode 15

Barney opens the teleporter for Walter

With the power cell delivered, Barney makes his way back to the elevator to return the upper levels. He rejoins Dr. Rosenberg, who explains to Barney that he will need his help to run the teleportation process. He instructs Barney to go up to the control room and turn on the man power. Barney does so, but as the machine begins to activate, a malfunction occurs. He quickly runs to a valve on the catwalk, and after a brief interruption by two Houndeyes, he releases the pressure and the system re-stabilizes.

Barney returns to his place in the control room, and as the machine becomes fully charged, he presses the button to open the field. The portal opens up, and Douchebag is the first to escape as he jumps into it. As Barney and Dr. Rosenberg wait for the machine to recharge, Barney hears HECU radio chatter and banging behind a nearby door. He dismisses the threat, noting that the only way they can breach the heavy door is if they have another cutting torch, which he doubts they possess. He opens the portal again once the machine becomes fully charged, and send Simmons through. Once again, The two wait for the machine to reach full power again.

The radio chatter and banging continue as Dr. Rosenberg tells Barney that he will be going through next, and that he has set the system to automatically restart the process after he goes through. Barney opens the field and Rosenberg wishes him luck and says they'll he'll see him on the other side. Barney once again begins to wait for the system to reach full power.

Barney goes to check on the door that the HECU are behind, and to his annoyance, finds them cutting through it. He notices that the system will not be charged before they manage to breach the lab, and prepares a trap for them as they enter. He eliminates the soldiers with several grenades, and notices that the teleporter is ready. He opens the field and makes his way down the catwalks to the newly formed portal. He comes under fire from more soldiers entering the labs and narrowly escapes as he jumps into the teleporter.

Barney talks with Shephard as they think of a way to help him escape from the locker

After wondering why his mouth tastes like green, Barney lands outside with the other scientists. Rosenberg expresses his relief, but notices that Barney has an unusual green glow around him. He calls Simmons to take a look, but before he can give a complete analysis, Barney is suddenly teleported away. He finds himself teleported to random locations such as Xen, an office during a combat situation between terrorist and counter-terrorist forces, and suddenly to the future in the ruins of the Citadel in City 17. He is shocked at what he sees, and investigates a nearby voice he heard. He turns the corner in time to see Alyx Vance dodge a minivan that was thrown at her before he is teleported again to a foggy forest, but quickly finds himself being taken away once again.

The teleportation drops him off back inside Black Mesa, several hours into the future. Barney angrily walk down the hallways and finds himself in the personal locker room for the science team. While looking around the room, he suddenly hears a voice and banging coming from the inside of someone's locker. He politely asks if there is in fact, someone in there, and gets a sarcastic, frustrated response. After a brief chat, the person inside the locker identifies himself as Adrian, and desperately asks Barney to free him from the locker. After several unsuccessful attempts to open the door, the two chat some more. While discussing their mutual hatred of Black Mesa, Shephard let's slip the fact he is an HECU marine. After learning this, Barney refuses to help him out despite Shephard's claims that he has no intention to kill Barney. Barney relents after Shephard offers him a chocolate bar he found earlier, and leaves to find a janitors closet that could possibly contain keys to open the lock. As Barney leaves the locker room, he is teleported again.

Barney finds himself, ironically, in a storage room, and watches as soldier drag Gordon away after apprehending him. He is teleported for the last time back outside with the scientists. With his condition stabilized, Rosenberg once again expresses his relief that Barney wasn't caught in an infinite harmonic reflux. He congratulates Barney for his hard work and assures him that "[They've] made it". Barney then climbs into the backseat of the waiting SUV to take a nap after losing the passenger seat position to Douchebag.

Barney and the scientists take flight

Barney is awoken from his sleep by Douchebag who tells him that they are approaching a military checkpoint. Barney thinks quickly, and tells them to take a left turn towards Black Mesa's airport. After a brief argument, Barney assures them that he can fly them to safety.

Upon arriving, the group finds a private jet left unattended. Barney gains entry to cockpit after a brief scare with door, thinking that it was locked. He gives Walter a headset, and tells him to go over the before-takeoff checklist. After following all the steps, and remembering to release the handbrake, the escapees lift-off and begin their flight. As they make their way from Black Mesa, they receive a transmission from a military fighter jet telling them that they will be escorted to a nearby airbase for violating restricted military airspace. Unwilling to co-operate with the military due to their cover-up attempt at Black Mesa, Barney tells a reluctant Walter that they will be attempting to run, and quickly dives into the cover of nearby canyons. The fighter jet notices this and receives authorization from the military Air Traffic Control to use lethal force.

Finally escaping from Black Mesa, Barney and the scientists fly off into the horizon

Barney expresses his confidence in his plan of staying under the fighter jet's radar by flying low near the canyons and appearing later under the guise of a regular business jet. Douchebag shows doubt in his plan, to which Barney angrily tells him to find something useful to do. After Douchebag manages to get music to play over the intercom, the fighter jet warns the group that they will be shot down if they do not comply. Barney ignores this warning and continues to stay low, negating the effectiveness of the fighter jet's lock-on missiles. He assures Douchebag that the fighter jet will only be able to attack with it's machine gun, which he believes he easily outmanoeuvre. The Fighter closes in on the unarmed private jet, and opens fire. The jet is hit by the machine gun fire, but manages to stay airborne. The fighter goes around for another pass and hits the jet again, causing damage to the left engine as Douchebag passes out in fear. Barney extinguishes the flame in the engine and attempts a new plan. He takes the jet straight up and puts it into a stall to slow it down significantly so the fast-moving fighter cannot get more than a few shots. However, this plan backfires as the plane enters a nosedive. Barney struggles with the controls and manages to pull up in time before hitting the ground. As Barney regains control, the plane disappears from the fighter's radar. As the fighter makes another pass to confirm the kill, it is hit by a portal storm and is teleported somewhere off the Atlantic coast while going down.

As he regains his composure, Barney tells the rest of the scientists that the fire in the engine has been put out, and that they will be landing at a nearby airport, from which they will find another means of transportation from there. After not receiving an answer to where they can escape to, Barney remembers friends he went to college with who live in Bulgaria that will give them shelter. With that, the group flies away while Barney hypothetically wonders if he could somehow use the alien invasion for world domination, foreshadowing the events of Half-Life 2. He would meet Gordon (or Felix, in an alternate timeline) Freeman again 20 years later.

Trivia

• Barney's Mind contains several references to Freeman's Mind, including references to Freeman's personality, his background, and his friendship with Barney. Freeman also appears in the first episodes (both the special editions and the normal ones), through use of voice clips and Freeman's appearance through security cameras and on a tram in Blue Shift.
• Alyx Vance from the Half-Life 2 series, makes a short cameo in Episode 15 when Barney was briefly teleported 20 years into the future, during the destruction of the Citadel in Half-Life 2: Episode One. In Felix's mind, set in an alternative reality with Gordon Freeman's twin brother Felix replacing him, a remake of the first few episodes had Felix hear Barney, but he disappeared in the teleporter and Felix believed he was hearing things.
• In Freeman's Mind 2, Gordon Freeman has no memory of Barney.

Gallery

Logo Of The Series

Alternative Logo Used in Episode 10 made by Berniebud

Updated title card

Sources

"GODDAMMIT, I NEED A HAND HERE!" This article is a stub. You can help Half Life Machinima Wiki by expanding it.